


a long time in the making

by psychedelicsilhouette



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24058579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychedelicsilhouette/pseuds/psychedelicsilhouette
Summary: Elle doesn't like the phone, but some things are too important for that to matter. She hates the phone, but it's Hotch.post s5ep9 - "100"
Relationships: Elle Greenaway & Aaron Hotchner, Elle Greenaway & Jennifer "JJ" Jareau
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	a long time in the making

**Author's Note:**

> Includes mentions of canon character death and references to canon violence. No explicit violence. 
> 
> Minor references to characters from White Collar, because why not.

"The secret of being loved is in being lovely; and the secret of being lovely is in being unselfish"

-J.G. Holland

She hates the phone, but it’s JJ, so she answers. They talk every once in a while. This time isn’t a catch up. Haley’s dead, and JJ is crying, and Elle finds herself sitting down at the dining table, head in her hand. 

‘God,’ she sighs.

_ ‘We were so close,’  _ JJ says. _ ‘A couple minutes and we would’ve- but… but Foyet was quicker.’ _

‘You did everything you could, JJ.’

_ ‘I just keep thinking-’ _

‘Don’t. Not tonight. Give yourself a break.’ She hears a huffed breath through the phone. ‘You still did good. Jack is safe, right?’

‘ _ Yes, but-’  _ JJ stops herself before Elle can.  _ ‘Hotch got there first. He found her, Elle. He was on his own.’ _

Elle can’t help but grimace at that, and wants to ask about what went down. But now wasn’t the time for questions. She can hear the exhaustion in JJ’s voice, and bites her tongue so as not to add to the weight on her friend’s shoulders. 

‘Hotch is strong,’ she says quietly. ‘He’ll be okay. It’ll take a while… He has Jack, and you guys. He’ll be okay.’

_ ‘Yeah,’  _ JJ breathes.

‘You  _ all  _ will.’

_ ‘I’m fine,’ _ because JJ is always fine, always shaking off people’s concerns. Elle knows she absorbs this kind of grief, though. Knows she’ll worry about Hotch and Jack to the point that she’ll dismiss the fact that she lost a friend too.

They talk about Hotch and Haley and Jack. And then about Will and Henry as she tries to take JJ’s mind off of the day’s events. Elle is the one to broach the subject of Reid and Morgan and Garcia, which she has to admit might be the first time she’s done so on their calls over the last months. JJ does most of the talking - she’s always been better than Elle at that.

JJ falls asleep after a while, and then the phone is taken off her. 

_ ‘Honestly thought she’d be fast asleep an hour ago.’ _ She’s never met Will, but the accent gives him away.

‘She’s had a hell of a day,’ she says softly. ‘You can tell her I said take care. I’ll talk to her soon.’

_ ‘Course,’  _ Will promises.  _ ‘You take care too.’ _

‘Yeah. Night, Will.’

_ ‘Goodnight, Elle.’ _

Elle sheds a few tears for Haley, who’d had her life uprooted and stolen from her. For Hotch, who she knew would blame himself. But mostly for Jack, the little blonde kid she hadn’t seen since he was a few months old. He’ll grow up without a parent, old enough to remember just little pieces of his mom, which in her experience, is tougher than no memories at all.

* * *

JJ keeps her up to date over the next few days. The Chief’s review of the team’s actions and then the all-clear, and the plans for the funeral.

Elle sends flowers. She doesn’t bother with a message. She reads the article about George Foyet, and knows exactly what ‘died from injuries sustained in apprehending him’ means. 

She’s on her way out of work when JJ messages her, saying they had wrapped up the case that had pulled them away from Haley’s memorial. Her mind stays with the Hotchner family during the after work drinks with her colleagues. Her boss asks if she’s okay, and she nods.

‘You’re somewhere else,’ he says, with the kind of fatherly concern that reminds her of Gideon. ‘Did something happen?’

‘Not to me.’ She shakes her head. ‘A friend. But it’ll be okay.’

Burke says, ‘Good,’ and lets the subject slide. 

Jones makes sure she gets home safe, even though she’s the sober one. She appreciates the gesture. Elle has made up her mind by the time she’s home, and it’s still early, so she swallows her pride.

She hates the phone, but it’s Hotch, so she calls.

Voicemail.

He’s probably getting a lot of these calls, she thinks. All too quickly the recorded voice stops talking, and it’s too late to hang up.

It takes a second before her brain catches up.

‘Hotch,’ she says. ‘It’s - uh. It’s Elle. I know we haven’t talked in a really long time, and I might be the last person you wanna hear from, but-’ She sighs. ‘I’m so sorry. It’s so unfair, and I am so sorry this happened to you.’

What else is she supposed to say?

‘Haley was the last person who deserved this,’ she says, blinking away the threat of tears. ‘I’m so sorry. If you need anything - or Jack- I’m not sure what you could need from me, but please, if there’s  _ anything _ , tell me. So, uh-’ She swallows. ‘I’ll go now. Bye, Hotch.’

* * *

Three days later, she hasn’t heard back, and tries not to doubt her actions. She won’t call again. She won’t force him to talk if he doesn’t want to. Her phone rings as she’s finishing up at the office.

‘Hi.’

A beat.

_ ‘Hi, Elle.’ _

She sits back down at her desk. ‘I really hope you didn’t feel like you had to call me back.’

_ ‘I didn’t. No, I- I wanted to,’  _ he says softly. A little of the tension she’d been holding onto dissipates.

‘I’m so sorry, Hotch.’

_ ‘Yeah. Me too.’ _

‘Don’t blame yourself. You can’t.’

_ ‘How would you know?’ _ He doesn’t ask unkindly.

‘There or not, I know you did everything you could.’ She can hear him about to protest. ‘Also JJ told me.’

Elle hears him let a breath out, just like when Morgan used to mess around and he would try not to laugh.

_ ‘And JJ’s never wrong.’ _

‘Damn right.’

He pauses, and she lets him.  _ ‘How’s white collar treating you?’ _

Elle blinks. ‘Spying on me?’

_ ‘I check in.’ _

‘You or Garcia?’

_ ‘It’s a team effort.’ _

‘I’m sure. It’s good. I like it.’ A coworker catches her eye and waves goodbye. ‘Bye, Diana.’

_ ‘You’re at work. Look, I’ll-’ _

She cuts him off. ‘No, it’s fine, I was about to leave anyway. You aren’t interrupting.’

_ ‘Oh. Okay.’ _ Elle doesn’t think she’s ever heard him this unsure.  _ ‘When I heard you’d started with white collar, I- I meant to call. I’m glad you found something you like.’ _

The day she’d stormed out of Hotch’s office, she would have sworn she was done with the FBI. Now, in the New York field office, she couldn’t feel more at ease. ‘I am too.’ She turns the pen in her hand. ‘You know this call wasn’t really meant to be about me.’

_ ‘Elle,’ _ he starts, taking his time as if figuring out how to put his thoughts into words.  _ ‘I have been talking about it for days. About Haley and how I’m doing, and I really, really, want to talk about someone else.’ _

She can understand that. ‘Can I ask about Jack?’

_ ‘He’ll be okay. He doesn’t really understand it yet, but…’ _

‘He has you.’

Hotch doesn’t acknowledge that.  _ ‘Jess, Haley’s sister, she’s been great. He’s with her now.’ _

‘You’re on your own?’ She knows how easy it is to spiral when people think you just want space.

_ ‘I’m fine. They’ll be back soon with dinner.’ _

She can hear the weariness in his voice. ‘I’m sorry. I’m meant to be changing the subject.’

_ ‘It’s okay.’ _

‘Tell me about the team.’

_ ‘The team?’ _ She doesn’t have to see him to know he’s raised an eyebrow.

‘JJ tells me stories. I need a second opinion.’

_ ‘I didn’t know you two still talked.’ _

She swallows before answering. ‘We didn’t, for a long time. She called me after I left, but I wasn’t ready to talk. Then by the time I get my head right, and start working again, I call her back and she’s about to have a baby.’

_ ‘I’m still not sure how we managed when she was on leave.’ _

‘I don’t know either,’ she jests.

_ ‘Very funny.’  _ The same tone she and Morgan used to always hear. It relieves some of the awkwardness.

‘Henry’s a cute kid. She sends pictures every once in a while.’

Hotch tells her about how far Morgan has come, how Reid has struggled but grown up a lot. Garcia, as much a lifesaver now as she had been years ago, Prentiss, a quick-learner and confident, and Rossi, an old mentor he was glad to have by his side.

She cuts him off when she hears a flurry of noise on his end. ‘Sounds like dinner’s there,’ she says. ‘You should go.’

_ ‘It’s fine-’ _

‘Hotch. Eat. Or I’ll tell JJ on you.’

He huffs a tired laugh.  _ ‘Yeah, okay. Thank you.’ _

‘Take care, Hotch.’

_ ‘I’ll talk to you again?’ _

‘I mean if you really want to,’ she jokes. She can hear the eyeroll. 

_ ‘Goodbye,’ _ he says pointedly.

‘I meant what I said. If there’s anything I can do. If you just want to yell at someone…’

_ ‘Yeah, I’ve been told I’m good at that.’ _

‘Look who’s got jokes. You’re a real expert.’

_ ‘Thank you.’  _ Another tired attempt at a laugh.  _ ‘Goodbye.’ _

‘Bye,’ she echoes, and hangs up.

* * *

Two weeks later, she’s home alone, and the phone rings. 

Elle Greenaway hates the phone, but she can help, and she made a promise, and it’s Hotch, so she answers.


End file.
